#111 Home ?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I feel so sad these days. I feel so depress no matter im out or at home. I cant stop these tears im holding it back. Although nothing much happen to me, but if 1 thing happens it can break me down. (Told you so im fragile) even more now. Maybe cause i cant take all this crap in at once. Im 18 and i know i should be mature and all. I am, but i cant take one shot all in. If you can, ill call you God.
Too many things at once. I just feel like all my hopes are dying. This is the reason why i dont aim high, dont have high hopes, because whenever there is, something is always there to cut my hopes down. Break my spirit, my confidence.
Running away now wouldnt solve the problems, solving them wouldnt either cause i have no idea how too. fuck the world lahhhh !!!!!@#$%^&*
I just want to go home..
And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
Not the home im staying at now, not a house where i always have this hatred inside, a house i hate. I want to go back to my real home, where i was first at. Now here, not now. Go back home to my old life back. Where i always will be at home, i feel a home.
I really want to wake up from this god knows what the fuck nightmare is this.
I CANT TAKE THE PRESSURE,i cant take all this crap in.
TAKE ME HOME PLEASE ! I hate this tears and pain, hatred.
2:26 AM
#103 Eyes
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I just realize im actually good at drawing some stuffs only but actually im not a good drawer, I only can draw something until i see a picture of it. Which means im not artistic, im not an artist, and i cant be a designer. Thats what im worrying about now. What am i gonna do ? Thinking about all this, suddenly i realize i maybe cant cope with graphic designing. Im so worried now, College starts in a month time and im am still not sure with what course am i gonna take. Ughhh ! Sucks man!
If i cant make my choice, Its designing im gonna take. I just dont want to regret taking that course. blablabla im blabbering i dont know what to update about. TEEHEEEE
************Bonuses :
Naisssss? :D
5:24 PM
#100 the 100th post!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So yesterday we were home the whole day, me and my bro. Internet line isnt back till night time \:
the whole noon my brother put on some cds that ive burned and he played dota with bots, i lay down there near the speakers letting my mind sway to the "boom boom boom" beats. Hell yeah that was fricking relaxing! I love those moments where me and my bro relaxes together. We could talk almost about everything and never keeping hatred inside us, It made us become more closer than ever (:
After listening to all the cds, i dont know how we started but we were scribbling on the floor with whiteboard markers. Yes we did! We even played Tic-Tac-Toe on the floor! Then i started
drawing stupid faces of my friends on the floor. It was fun at first until we couldnt rub off =.= I mean we can lah, but theres still stains on the floor and it was that bad. So we used tina to rub it off. hehe It dint look at obvious after that. TEEHEEEE!
Im currently youtube-ing guitar covers of songs. Mannnn they're so awesome! I want a bloody electric guitar so i could cover all the songs that i love ! especially those solos. Fricking awesome!
*************Bonuses :
Left is Hock Kooi and right is Aby. ehhehe
This guy here is bloody good. He have 85 million views man!
One day, im gonna be one of the best guitarist ever too. Just you wait and see !
3:40 PM
#98 Issues ?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
12:52 AM
My internet line is down, my mom dint paid the bill yet ): so i cant online until...until she pays the bill lah. Im alone at Botanic Cafe updating my blog and checking facebook now teeeheee!
#95 Down down down!
Monday, February 21, 2011
My internet line is down, my mom dint paid the bill yet ): so i cant online until...until she pays the bill lah. Im alone at Botanic Cafe updating my blog and checking facebook now teeeheee!
Okay recently, im in a very bad mood. i get pissed easily and when i meant easily, i mean reallyyyy easily. I dont know why ): but it sucks.
As i was going true yesterday newspaper, i read something about my horoscope (capricorn) and it was really true. I forgotten whats the whole passage but it said something like "Dont force your loved ones to do something because of what you're going true" So i think about it, "what was i forcing?" out of a snap, i remembered, i was trying to avoid someone and at the same time its also somehow like im forcing him to stay away from me(by avoiding him). Gahh im so much of crap !
So anyway, day 1 of ignoring him ? FAILED. but what the heck lah.
I got a set of house keys to my friends house(not naming it,dangerous! later you guys come stalk me xD) So now i have 2 houses :P thats my second house! (suck that bitches)
Im so bored i want to die D:
Tho i may look happy on the outside, Im really sad in the inside. I hate going back home where ill be alone and then ill start thinking of many bull craps and go emo. I am so sad.. So im sharing this song now.
*********Bonuses :
I hate the mornings
Cause I know what they bring
You get up and take a shower in no time, your leaving
And it sounds so selfish
But i can’t help but think
That if you knew how much i needed you
You’d stay cause
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love yeahhyeahhh
I hate love yeahh woooo
I hate your phone calls
In the middle of the day
Cause all you do is remind that my baby is so far away
It drives me crazy
Cause i need you with me
I know its time for you to understand when i say that
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love yeahhyeahhh
I don’t want to feel this alone
Everytime you walked out that door (I can’t help it)
I start missing you (I can’t help it no)
Wish I didn’t need you this much (I can’t help it)
But i love how it feels when we touch
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love
I hate love
I hate love
Cause I know what they bring
You get up and take a shower in no time, your leaving
And it sounds so selfish
But i can’t help but think
That if you knew how much i needed you
You’d stay cause
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love yeahhyeahhh
I hate love yeahh woooo
I hate your phone calls
In the middle of the day
Cause all you do is remind that my baby is so far away
It drives me crazy
Cause i need you with me
I know its time for you to understand when i say that
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love yeahhyeahhh
I don’t want to feel this alone
Everytime you walked out that door (I can’t help it)
I start missing you (I can’t help it no)
Wish I didn’t need you this much (I can’t help it)
But i love how it feels when we touch
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate goodbyes
I hate these tears in my eyes
I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
I’ve had enough
I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
its way too much
I hate love
I hate love
I hate love
**********************************
I really hate these tears in my eyes.
3:27 PM
Hello blogders! Its wednesday today and my sea-monkeys are growing ♥ I dont have a picture to show you guys as you can see, i dont put pictures(im lazy)
#92 Going crazy
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hello blogders! Its wednesday today and my sea-monkeys are growing ♥ I dont have a picture to show you guys as you can see, i dont put pictures(im lazy)
Just want to share a song of how i feel now. No biggy. Im just bored doing nothing teehee !
************Bonuses :
Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can´t get you off my mind
Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can´t find
The courage to show ...
To letting you know ...
I´ve never felt so much love before
And once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out ...
But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go ...
Night after night
I hear myself sayin´
Why can´t this feeling just fade away?
There´s no one like you ...
You speak to my heart...
It´s such a shame we´re worlds apart ...
I´m too shy to ask ...
I´m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I´m thinking aboutTaking the easy way out ...
********
Srsly, Why cant this feeling just fade away ?
1:59 PM
Daily update : Kooi, Aby, Jon and me stayed up till 8 playing chapkut and chicken rice. Madness much i know.
#91 Alone not Lonely
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Daily update : Kooi, Aby, Jon and me stayed up till 8 playing chapkut and chicken rice. Madness much i know.
You know, i wish to change. Throw everything i dont like about myself away. One of them are treating people too good. I know, treating people good is not something bad. But for me, in a way it is bad. Ive been treating people too nice/good until people thinks im very stupid that they could step over my head or use me for something else. Sometimes i wonder, why on earth i treat people so good but in return nobody does the same to me? Its like, to me your somebody but to you im..nobody ? My grandma always tells me not to treat people too nice or trust someone too much, because when it happens the people will think you're stupid then they'll start using you, so be wise, dont be "aiya anything la anything la"...you know ?.. I got backstabbed\betrayed many times already, im learning my lessons. But i do believe in karma : What goes around;comes around.
Im probably blabbering to you but whatever lah. Im so addicted to this song. I cant stop listening to it! Maybe because i have this feeling inside of me i cant get it out and by listening to this song i feel a lil better.
******Bonuses : Changed new background, gonna changed it more often according to my mood.
Song of the day:
(i like both english and korean one)
i feel so..heartbroken
This feeling ? yeah its eating me inside.
8:44 PM
I failed driving bukit and passed on the road. pffttt !
I like the beat. Feel really relax and calm everytime i hear this song.
Dammnn my finger hurts! finger tips gone soft for not playing a long time ): gotta practice more often! bye.
#80 Guitar
Monday, January 24, 2011
I failed driving bukit and passed on the road. pffttt !
So anyway, i want to learn to play a cover of Stereo Love by Edward Maya with my guitar. It sounds dam beautiful man. But i prefer piano more, sounds much nicer and...really peaceful. Oh well, i dont know how to play but im wishing to learn. gahhh ! I need a job so i could take piano and guitar lessons! ):
Bonus of the day :
I like the beat. Feel really relax and calm everytime i hear this song.
Dammnn my finger hurts! finger tips gone soft for not playing a long time ): gotta practice more often! bye.
9:48 PM
Man i need to get a job! i feel so dam lifeless staying at home the wholeweek day gahhhh! and im almost done with HIMYM season 6. Dont know what to do next
i only like the part 2:28 dam nice the beat. hehe
#78 Bored
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Man i need to get a job! i feel so dam lifeless staying at home the whole
So my driving exam is on the coming Monday. wish me luck ! xx.
Oh oh ! i thought of starting a Vlog ! HAHAHHAA people said im gonna fail. pfft. Just you wait and seeeee !
Bonus of today :
i only like the part 2:28 dam nice the beat. hehe
8:07 PM
