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#101 life lesson 101
Sunday, February 27, 2011

I know, ive messed up some stuffs. Stuffs that is really important to me in life. What i need to keep me going on. Ive lost a very best friend of mine, Someone who is literally like me. Our thoughts and everything is the same. What we're thinking and what we say out is always the same. I know, its sad, losing someone like that ? I confess i am very sad. And yes i do miss her; alot.
I dont blame her, at all. It's my fault. I made things happened between us. And i tried making things the way they used to be but its never gonna happen. Like how dreams dont come true.
I still have Beatrice tho, my very best friend that ive know for so long and well. But still? We use to stick together, 3 of us. Like glue stick. People would call us "BUY 2 FREE ONE" or "BUY 1 FREE 2" and the most famous one "THE OTHER HALF". But no more now cause everyone knows about it already. No more now, we "the 3 amigos", "the sisters in crime", "the ugly bitches" no more.

I tried patching things back between us, i said im sorry and i think somebody had brainwashed her. But nothing, NOTHING can ever fix us back like before. She doesn't even care about it now, she has her own friends, her own crew, her own everything. You know, if i could turn back time and fix everything between us, turn back time right before all these happen, I WOULD, even if it shortens my life, I will. I still don't blame her.

But hey, this is life man. Things dont last forever, Life is not forever.
Oh well. Sometimes we gotta let things be how it is.
Some things are not meant to be fix, no matter what or how hard we try, It was never meant to be.

Dont get me wrong, i love all my friends, my bestfriend too.

hmmmm~~

************Bonuses:

I dedicate this song to my both bestfriends. I miss the times we had together. Boiii id die just to be the way we use too but its never gonna happen. Not at all.
And also dedicate this song to someone(if you think its you then its you la),cant seem to get you off my mind.

2:46 AM
#100 the 100th post!
Thursday, February 24, 2011

So yesterday we were home the whole day, me and my bro. Internet line isnt back till night time \:
the whole noon my brother put on some cds that ive burned and he played dota with bots, i lay down there near the speakers letting my mind sway to the "boom boom boom" beats. Hell yeah that was fricking relaxing! I love those moments where me and my bro relaxes together. We could talk almost about everything and never keeping hatred inside us, It made us become more closer than ever (:
After listening to all the cds, i dont know how we started but we were scribbling on the floor with whiteboard markers. Yes we did! We even played Tic-Tac-Toe on the floor! Then i started
drawing stupid faces of my friends on the floor. It was fun at first until we couldnt rub off =.= I mean we can lah, but theres still stains on the floor and it was that bad. So we used tina to rub it off. hehe It dint look at obvious after that. TEEHEEEE!

Im currently youtube-ing guitar covers of songs. Mannnn they're so awesome! I want a bloody electric guitar so i could cover all the songs that i love ! especially those solos. Fricking awesome!

*************Bonuses :


Left is Hock Kooi and right is Aby. ehhehe

This guy here is bloody good. He have 85 million views man!



One day, im gonna be one of the best guitarist ever too. Just you wait and see !

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3:40 PM
#99 Back again
Wednesday, February 23, 2011

So my internet's back! yee-piee! I dont have to suffer the whole day home doing nothing \:
Im currently watching SMOSH videos (I LOVE SMOSH OKAY I LOVE BOTH OF THEM) www.smosh.com
I love every youtube-ers like Nigahiga, KevJumba, RealanoyyingOrange, and alot more. teehee!

Well im better now. i think. Oh well. I dont know what else to update about. Prolly tomorrow lah ill update with something better.

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8:26 PM
#98 Issues ?

Im at Golden Break now playing pool with my friends(using laptop ofcorse) Tho we're playing happily and all but im not sincerely. I dont know why i feel so sad right now. Sudden out of a mood, then i start thinking of some stuffs. Start missing something. I dont know \:

So here's a song i would like to share in my blog. Yeah so what if my songs are all old? Its still a good song !

********Bonuses:



Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind

Boy the way you do me it's a damn crime

And then you smile at me and it's alright

With you there ain't no in-between

Every time that I walk out the door

Tell myself I won't take it no more

There's a part of me that won't let you go

Keep saying yes while my minds saying no

Me and my heart we got issues

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you

Damn I wish that I could resist you

Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you

Me and my heart we got issues issues issues

We got issues issues issues

It's so hard boy you left me hanging for so long

You empty out my love until it's all gone

You change the words but still is that the same song

I'm tired of the melody

Change my number and throw out your clothes

But my feeling for you it still shows

I keep building a wall round my heart

But then I see you and it all falls apart

Me and my heart we got issues

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you (damn I wish)

Damn I wish I that could resist you (can't decide)

Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you

Me and my heart we got issues issues issues (ooooh)

We got issues issues issues

Why fight it can't hide it

Truth is I think I like it

Confusion illusion

Still I don't know which way to go

Me and my heart we got issues

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you

Damn I wish that I could resist you

Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you (me and my heart)

Me and my heart we got issues (we gotta work this thing out)

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you (I don't know)

Damn I wish that I could resist you (yeah)

Can't decide if I should slap you or kiss you

Me and my heart we got issues issues issues

We got issues issues issues

We got issues issues issues (me and my heart)

We got issues issues issues

Me and my heart we got issues (we gotta decide which way to go)

Don't know if I should hate you or miss you



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12:52 AM
#97 Running back
Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pourquoi est-il si difficile pour moi de vous haïr? Pourquoi gardez-vous de revenir dans mon esprit? Pourquoi ai-je envie de vous voir si mal? pourquoi je vous veux du texte et appelez-moi si mal?


  • Sənə nifrət edirəm
  • Të urrej
  • Es qez atumem
  • Mrzim te
  • Мразя те - Mrazia te
  • Catalan – Et odi
  • 我恨你
  • Mrzim te
  • Nenávidím tě
  • Jeg hader dig
  • Ik haat je or Ik haat u
  • Ma vihkan sind
  • Hindi kita mhal
  • Minä vihaan sinua
  • Je vous deteste
  • Ódiote
  • Ich hasse Sie
  • Σε μισώ
  • Mujhe tumse nafrat hai
  • Utállak
  • Ég hata þig
  • Aku benci kamu
  • Io ti odio
  • Shiijei-dono! Anta no daikirai!
  • 니가 밉다 (Niga Mipda)
  • Ego contemno vos
  • Es ienīstu tevi
  • Aš tavęs nekenčiu
  • Nobogħdok
  • Mrzim te
  • Jeg hater De
  • من از شما بدم می آید or من از تو بدم میاد or من از تو متنفرم
  • Ie atehe ouye
  • Nienawidze Cie
  • Odeio você, or, Eu te odeio
  • Te urasc
  • Ya tebya nenavizhu
  • Мрзим те
  • Nenávidím ťa
  • Sovražim te
  • Te odio
  • Jag hatar dig
  • Nan unai verukuren
  • Chan Kleard Khun
  • Senden nefret ediyorum
  • Я вас ненавиджу
  • Tôi ghét bạn
  • Casâ “ch
  • Labels: ,


    5:00 PM
    #96 What?!


    You know horrrr...........


    yesterday Hock Kooi went Aeon loh..
    Then hor....
    He saw this guy.....
    A very mysterious looking man.....
    ..He took something to the counter lo........
    Then hor, you know what happened ???


















    Then hor.....
    He take out money to pay for the things.....







    Then hor....
    The counter lady took the money and put everything in a plastic bag loh.....








    Then hor........
    The mysterious man right.....





    You know what he did ?!







    He take his things and went off...
    what the fuck mannnnn??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!

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    4:25 PM
    #95 Down down down!
    Monday, February 21, 2011

    My internet line is down, my mom dint paid the bill yet ): so i cant online until...until she pays the bill lah. Im alone at Botanic Cafe updating my blog and checking facebook now teeeheee!
    Okay recently, im in a very bad mood. i get pissed easily and when i meant easily, i mean reallyyyy easily. I dont know why ): but it sucks.

    As i was going true yesterday newspaper, i read something about my horoscope (capricorn) and it was really true. I forgotten whats the whole passage but it said something like "Dont force your loved ones to do something because of what you're going true" So i think about it, "what was i forcing?" out of a snap, i remembered, i was trying to avoid someone and at the same time its also somehow like im forcing him to stay away from me(by avoiding him). Gahh im so much of crap !
    So anyway, day 1 of ignoring him ? FAILED. but what the heck lah.

    I got a set of house keys to my friends house(not naming it,dangerous! later you guys come stalk me xD) So now i have 2 houses :P thats my second house! (suck that bitches)
    Im so bored i want to die D:

    Tho i may look happy on the outside, Im really sad in the inside. I hate going back home where ill be alone and then ill start thinking of many bull craps and go emo. I am so sad.. So im sharing this song now.

    *********Bonuses :


    I hate the mornings
    Cause I know what they bring
    You get up and take a shower in no time, your leaving
    And it sounds so selfish
    But i can’t help but think
    That if you knew how much i needed you
    You’d stay cause

    I hate goodbyes
    I hate these tears in my eyes
    I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
    I’ve had enough
    I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
    its way too much

    I hate love yeahhyeahhh
    I hate love yeahh woooo

    I hate your phone calls
    In the middle of the day

    Cause all you do is remind that my baby is so far away
    It drives me crazy
    Cause i need you with me
    I know its time for you to understand when i say that

    I hate goodbyes
    I hate these tears in my eyes
    I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
    I’ve had enough
    I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
    its way too much
    I hate love yeahhyeahhh

    I don’t want to feel this alone
    Everytime you walked out that door (I can’t help it)
    I start missing you (I can’t help it no)
    Wish I didn’t need you this much (I can’t help it)
    But i love how it feels when we touch

    I hate goodbyes
    I hate these tears in my eyes
    I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
    I’ve had enough
    I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
    its way too much

    I hate goodbyes
    I hate these tears in my eyes
    I hate myself for the way i feel about you everytime
    I’ve had enough
    I’m sick of wishing he was around me every day, every night
    its way too much
    I hate love
    I hate love
    I hate love

    **********************************

    I really hate these tears in my eyes.

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    3:27 PM
    #94 After today
    Sunday, February 20, 2011


    I just came back from Blitz, i had fun alot! so did my brother (: I felt kind of offended listening to my friends saying im a bad sister for letting my bro shisha-ing. I mean, its not like my fault right, He always wanted to try shisha long time ago. Shisha is no big deal lah, even if i dint brought him out today he would be at the same place,same spot,same time with his friends instead. Okay, maybe it is my fault for teaching him but i trust him. I trust him that he wont touch so much of this smoking shit, i trust that he'll never pick up a cigg and get addicted to it, i trust that he knows what he's doing. And com'on, the feeling of having a younger brother is different, thats why i allow him to do what he wants as long he knows what he is doing. I love my brother;period.

    ~~~
    So i lit up my last sky lantern of the year. With my wishes on it and i hope it comes true. No, i wont tell what i was wishing for or else it wouldnt come true. But one of it is to leave my present behind and go ahead with my future, which is leaving my feelings behind, what i had for someone. So starting today onwards 20 February, "You" are my yesterday. Ill try to avoid everything from you, I will not ever text nor call you, I'll take you as "the kid who stays next door", Ill ignore everything. And i hope you understand. I know somewhere inside of you, it hurts but it hurts me more. And lastly, I am sorry.

    I can be there for you but i cant anymore
    i want to be there for you but i wont anymore.
    I hate what im feeling inside.
    Liked i said, Its eating me inside and alive.sorry.

    I need to be fix. Help anyone ?

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    4:43 AM
    #93 15th
    Thursday, February 17, 2011


    Its the 15th day in the chinese calendar which is also known as Chap Goh Mei. Im not really sure what it means but i know its the time of year where we write our phone numbers on a fruit(???idkw) and throw them into the sea so someone would pick it up(i think) and also a day where we light up flying lanterns too (:

    Hou leng hor ?

    I cant wait to go Port Klang later, to light up flying lantern and watch them fly up really high.(HELL NO IM NOT WRITING MY NUMBER ON AN ORANGE AND THROW IT TO THE SEA) teehheee!

    I somehow feel so relief now. You know how much i was hoping for some people to read my blog so theyll know how'd i feel right ? Well i think some people did. Cause every now and then, they bring up random topics, lets say about me love. Out of nowhere "ya ya ya like you liking me but not telling nor wanting me to know right?" and blahblahblah then i had to change the topic again just to cover up. Ughh. But want to know something? This feeling is still there.

    *********Bonuses:

    No bonus today.


    Gahhh im messed up!

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    7:46 PM
    #92 Going crazy
    Wednesday, February 16, 2011

    Hello blogders! Its wednesday today and my sea-monkeys are growing ♥ I dont have a picture to show you guys as you can see, i dont put pictures(im lazy)


    Just want to share a song of how i feel now. No biggy. Im just bored doing nothing teehee !
    ************Bonuses :


    Day after day
    Time pass away
    And I just can´t get you off my mind
    Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
    I keep on searching but I can´t find
    The courage to show ...
    To letting you know ...
    I´ve never felt so much love before
    And once again I´m thinking about
    Taking the easy way out ...

    But if I let you go
    I will never know
    What my life would be
    Holding you close to me
    Will I ever see
    You smiling back at me
    How will I know?
    If I let you go ...

    Night after night
    I hear myself sayin´
    Why can´t this feeling just fade away?
    There´s no one like you ...
    You speak to my heart...
    It´s such a shame we´re worlds apart ...
    I´m too shy to ask ...
    I´m too proud to lose
    But sooner or later I gotta choose
    And once again I´m thinking aboutTaking the easy way out ...
    ********

    Srsly, Why cant this feeling just fade away ?

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    1:59 PM
    #91 Alone not Lonely
    Tuesday, February 15, 2011

    Daily update : Kooi, Aby, Jon and me stayed up till 8 playing chapkut and chicken rice. Madness much i know.

    You know, i wish to change. Throw everything i dont like about myself away. One of them are treating people too good. I know, treating people good is not something bad. But for me, in a way it is bad. Ive been treating people too nice/good until people thinks im very stupid that they could step over my head or use me for something else. Sometimes i wonder, why on earth i treat people so good but in return nobody does the same to me? Its like, to me your somebody but to you im..nobody ? My grandma always tells me not to treat people too nice or trust someone too much, because when it happens the people will think you're stupid then they'll start using you, so be wise, dont be "aiya anything la anything la"...you know ?.. I got backstabbed\betrayed many times already, im learning my lessons. But i do believe in karma : What goes around;comes around.

    Im probably blabbering to you but whatever lah. Im so addicted to this song. I cant stop listening to it! Maybe because i have this feeling inside of me i cant get it out and by listening to this song i feel a lil better.

    ******Bonuses : Changed new background, gonna changed it more often according to my mood.
    Song of the day:

    (i like both english and korean one)

    i feel so..heartbroken
    This feeling ? yeah its eating me inside.

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    8:44 PM
    #90 Valentines
    Monday, February 14, 2011

    I had a fun week, really. Especially yesterday, went to Chai's place then got lost somewhere in Damansara then to PJ for dinner at KHUNTHAI (thai restaurant) with Gerry, Kooi, Tzu, Khoon, 9Phang with his gf and friend, Kengkit with his gf and bro, Aby.
    And also thank you for coming to my place that day ! teehee.
    Well, CNY is coming to an end(so fast ]: ) I like going to friends house and lepak. mehh..

    My sea-monkeys have grown bigger :D You can actually see it already. Well only can see one tiny dot moving around the tank haha Im so happy !

    Today is Valentines day. Yeahhh Valentines day are for losers yo. And im saying that because i dont have someone for Valentines.
    Happy Valentines Day to all happy couples (: have fun!

    Okay i dont know what else to blog about already. Just updating it for fun.
    Btw, I got my P license already :P

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    5:32 PM
    #89 Bleeding
    Friday, February 11, 2011

    Yesterday started with a fine morning. Waking up at 11 and then to AC and Meeples with Aby, HockKooi and CK. I had fun there the whole noon. Even when i was home i had nothing in mind, I feel so calm, so relaxed. I was in peace...

    ..Until he came..
    Everything was normal between us both until we were alone in the room talking. Acting like everything is fine, no weird awkward moments. I was controlling the game. Laughing at stupid random topics. Then out of nowhere, I thought i heard wrongly of him telling me something, thought it was all in my mind that somehow i was day dreaming, lost somewhere in space. He called out my name and says it again, and then i snapped out of everything. It was like, i forgot how to breathe at that moment. Controlling myself not to tear out, no weird reaction. I looked at him and smiled, as if i was happy for him. Looking at him looking back at me with a smile, i feel like i got stabbed with a knife in the heart. He's in love with someone but he wasnt clear with the answers from that someone,not rejected cause theres still hope. He kept telling me non stop, how crazy he was ever since he fell for that someone. But i played along, i helped him how to woo that girl, tease him at the same time as well. I was trying to cover.

    Everytime i look at him, looking at his "im in love with someone" face, listening to him mentioning her name after every end of the sentences. Every one move, one word from him, Its another knife stabbing in me. One by one..by one..
    And starts from now on, he's gonna text/call/find me just because he's much heartbroken.
    Ive been stabbed with a thousand knives, how many more do you want to stab me with ?

    In that one night, It feels like i got stabbed with a thousand knives in the heart. each and every one of it slowly stabbing in deep till i bleed

    You are inlove with somebody that might love you back, I am inlove with someone who loves somebody else and never having the courage to tell him.. You're more in pain ? or I am? since my someone is you.

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    3:55 PM
    #88 Sea monkeys II
    Thursday, February 10, 2011

    Ive bought em' sea monkeys already. And its only day 1, cant see any cause their soo tiny it looks like dirt swimming around. Cant wait for it to grow ♥

    Went to Meeples today with Kooi,Aby,CK (: played for 2 hours. More people more fun lah actually. Next time ill bring a troop of monkeys go. hehe I thought of working in Meeples one but afraid the pay low then its not worth since i stay far and have to travel to go to work everyday. boo-hoo ): oh and btw, the first guy who served us is dam cute ♥ srsly.
    Heres the link if you dont know what Meeples is. http://www.meeples.com.my/


    Well, my P license isnt out yet. i think. Or maybe Uncle is busy with newbies \: its almost 2 weeks already but ill wait anyway since im already driving on road....illegally. hehe

    Thats all, i want to sleep naoooo! buaiii!

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    5:52 PM
    #87 Sea monkeys
    Wednesday, February 9, 2011


    Gahhh i cant stop coughing ! might cough my lungs out anytime soon man! and flu ohmygod i hate getting a flu! might blow my intestines all out! i hate being sick pfftt.

    I just came back from MBO and pasarmalam. Watched a cantonese movie, Alls well Ends well 2011. I rate it mmm.. 5 out of 10 sea monkeys (: Its a must for me to watch this movie cause i watched it every year ! there's Alls well Ends well 2009 and 2010 too(last year one is much funnier) Louis Khoo so lengzai can ?

    I want to get zi sea-monkeys! They're so cool! I wanted to get them when i was a kid but my Mom doesnt allow me to have these creature at home cause afraid might lure mosquitoes in to breed and i WAS a kid, god knows what a kid will do. If you dont know whats a sea-monkey, well...sucks to be you.

    This is the full set and i think it cost prolly almost rm50. Its not selling in stores like ToysRus or Jusco etcetc anymore(since ages ago man). But lucky me, Ive found them seamonkeys. Way cheaper ones which is only rm18 with a empty tank and purifier,food,sea monkey eggs. Still hesitating to get it or not cause it only last for 2 years(or lesser if they die) and the food is expensive and i have no where to put it at home. gahhh!

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    8:44 PM
    #86 Red packets

    Today is the seventh day of CNY, which is also known(to the chinese) its everybody's birthday today (: so SANG YAT FAI LOK !
    Im done doing visits already but not gambling yet >:]

    Today post is something you can call it random. You know, everybody thinks that CNY is all about the money and angpau's we collect. When i was younger,my siblings and i had this lil competition;" Who collected the most red packets this year" Well, it was always me that collected the most :3
    As im older now, things start to make sense. CNY is nothing about collecting the most angpau's nor collecting more money. CNY is about gathering your family together on new year eve for dinner and have a bonding time, a good way to start a new year; visiting your relatives (bonding) and friends too dont you agree? Meanwhile, red packet doesnt have to be big. Giving a red packet to someone is like, wishing you good luck,a good life,a prosperious year ahead,a meaning. It has nothing to do with big money and you going all "wa that fella dam kiam siap man..5 bucks only mcb" =.= . It did happened once when i was still living in my old house. The kids in the neighbourhood were a lil fricked up. I over heard them talking on the phone sayin "eh don need come dont need come, not big also lah. 2 bucks only. dont need come already lah. we go out now"
    dam lebih right i want to punch those kids (they are not my friends)

    During this cny, the only fun day i had was yesterday. Travelling from friend to friend with other friends. It was the only day in this cny i went visiting. Sad right i know.

    CNY this year? yeah its different.

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    2:18 PM
    #85 Blogging
    Monday, February 7, 2011

    I have so many things to blog out but i dont know where to start,how to start, and when to start.

    Just wait la ok.

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    10:20 PM
    #84 5am
    Wednesday, February 2, 2011

    Before i go to sleep i always listen to piano covers until i fall asleep. Every single night. Sound of piano makes me feel so relax ♥

    So i fall asleep at last and the last time i checked my phone was 3.35am, approximately 4++ i fell asleep. Then someone woke me up at 5 =.=

    Yeo came back to Msia (: its nice seeing him again (my somehow bestfriend) He's the bastard that woke me up at freaking 5am to go have breakfast with him cause he just came back not long ago and i did go with him, drove around until 6 cause most Bahkutteh isnt open and he was like.. "why malaysian so lazy one?".. and me "er i dont know, maybe because ITS FREAKING 6AM IN THE MORNING WHO THE HECK WAKES UP AT THIS TIME FOR BAHKUTTEH ONE"
    chai chai i dont answer unknown number earlier ):
    So at the end we had bahkutteh in Teluk Pulai last corner. They dam on one lah, asked for a small bowl of mushroom they took a bigggg bowl and pour it in and i was like WTFMANNN?! its like almost a can of mushroom, fucking the scary. Am never gonna order extra mushroom anymore. Eat until i dai D; Yeo's treat. Went back at 7 and then i went to sleep back haha i feel fucking fat right nowxzcsdaczxc

    Imma stop blogging. Its CNY eve! gotta clean the house (: family dinner tonight. yippiee!

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    2:15 PM
    #83 Winner
    Tuesday, February 1, 2011

    So ive passed my driving test already (atlast!) cant wait for my license :D
    Ive watched The Green Hornet and i rate it.... 6 out of 10 lighters. It wasnt that bad la, eventhough i dont understand what the fuck Jay Chou is saying all the time. hm

    Idont know what to talk about i want to die byebye

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    8:43 PM

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