#112 Studying
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Okay SPM's results are already out on the 23rd. I feel weird looking at my school mates, its like, One time we're all playing together and dint care what others think and now ? We're all grown up, We've changed alot. I miss my school mates ;( pfft !
So yeah i got my results already tho i wasnt that happy with it. I was expecting more but what the heck ? 5 credits is enough to get me into foundation.. i was so-so la.
I just came back from Sunway University (: Yes im a Sunway student now ! suck that biatch! Studying diploma in Graphic and Multimedia Design. Im so happy ! Orientation is tomorrow and class starts on monday. I cannot wait ! ughh ! Now ive gotta buy new cloths for college hehehe
Well thats all i guess. I have nothings else to update about. hehe
7:33 PM
I feel so sad these days. I feel so depress no matter im out or at home. I cant stop these tears im holding it back. Although nothing much happen to me, but if 1 thing happens it can break me down. (Told you so im fragile) even more now. Maybe cause i cant take all this crap in at once. Im 18 and i know i should be mature and all. I am, but i cant take one shot all in. If you can, ill call you God.
#111 Home ?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I feel so sad these days. I feel so depress no matter im out or at home. I cant stop these tears im holding it back. Although nothing much happen to me, but if 1 thing happens it can break me down. (Told you so im fragile) even more now. Maybe cause i cant take all this crap in at once. Im 18 and i know i should be mature and all. I am, but i cant take one shot all in. If you can, ill call you God.
Too many things at once. I just feel like all my hopes are dying. This is the reason why i dont aim high, dont have high hopes, because whenever there is, something is always there to cut my hopes down. Break my spirit, my confidence.
Running away now wouldnt solve the problems, solving them wouldnt either cause i have no idea how too. fuck the world lahhhh !!!!!@#$%^&*
I just want to go home..
And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
Another winter day
Has come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
Not the home im staying at now, not a house where i always have this hatred inside, a house i hate. I want to go back to my real home, where i was first at. Now here, not now. Go back home to my old life back. Where i always will be at home, i feel a home.
I really want to wake up from this god knows what the fuck nightmare is this.
I CANT TAKE THE PRESSURE,i cant take all this crap in.
TAKE ME HOME PLEASE ! I hate this tears and pain, hatred.
2:26 AM
So i just got this news from my sister. Instead of my parents. That my dad's cancer cell might come back. Anytime soon. These few days ive seen my dad pressing his backbone and saying that it hurts, I could see the stress/tearful expressions everytime he does that. And then this morning at the dining table, my shoulder was very stiff(maybe cause i slept wrong position) and i said "ahh mou lek jor ah" and then my dad also replied me "I also have no more strength already" and i thought he's saying that cause he's tired. Well, it all make sense now. He went to see the doctor recently and the doctor said that "It might be the cancer cells are back again. Not very sure whether it is or not but it might be. And if it is, we cant help him anymore, theres nothing we can do about it". It broke me down into tears. My dad has been fighting with cancer for 2 years already. Why so soon?
#110 Helpless
Saturday, March 12, 2011
So i just got this news from my sister. Instead of my parents. That my dad's cancer cell might come back. Anytime soon. These few days ive seen my dad pressing his backbone and saying that it hurts, I could see the stress/tearful expressions everytime he does that. And then this morning at the dining table, my shoulder was very stiff(maybe cause i slept wrong position) and i said "ahh mou lek jor ah" and then my dad also replied me "I also have no more strength already" and i thought he's saying that cause he's tired. Well, it all make sense now. He went to see the doctor recently and the doctor said that "It might be the cancer cells are back again. Not very sure whether it is or not but it might be. And if it is, we cant help him anymore, theres nothing we can do about it". It broke me down into tears. My dad has been fighting with cancer for 2 years already. Why so soon?
You know thinking about all this, it makes me feel so useless/hopeless now. Theres nothing i could do to help him. Cancer cells can come anytime no matter what. My dad eats the right food, he exercise alot, he dont put stress nor pressure on himself and also through every kimos,not missing one. But still? It might be back? What the fuck man.
I really want to help him. but i dont know how? Life's so unfair ! Fuck life man. I wish i dint existed in this what fucking shit called "Life", so i wont go through all this bullshit. None of my family members know about it except my sis and my mom. Afraid the others cant take the news. (WHY THE HECK MY SIS TELL ME LA DIAO DAH LAH IM THE MOST SENSETIVE IN THE HOUSE BUT I DONT SHOW MY TRUE SELF AT HOME) Knowing all these breaks down all my courage. Makes me burst out into tears. I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.
Be strong dad. Ill be here for you. Ill try my best to fight with you. Please dont give up ):
Labels: Life
8:08 PM
So yeah i fell sick for 2 days straight and sucks to be in this situation. I dont even know what sickness am i facing. I dont have fever nor cough nor flu, just that my body aches a hell lottttt, my head hurts a hell lotttttt, and my eyes. yeah my eyes hurts alot too. I cant look at the side of my eyes and if i do, it hurts fricking lot ! so whenever someone calls me from behind or the side, i had to turn my head and body together (dam funny weh) I hope i get well really soon ! dam pek-the-cek ! and ytd when i was sleeping, i was bloody freezing at 5am and i had no idea why O_O i woke up and took every blanket i can find(= 4 thick blankets) to cover myself and wore a sweater too. My body was producing any heat O_O dont know why.
#109 Sicky icky
Friday, March 11, 2011
Just found out that SPM results will be out on the 23rd March (WHAT THE FRICKKK?) dam pissed off ! I've been longing for my spm results which people say would be out on the 14th but now, 23 ? F T W ! hope this isnt true !
Yeahhh.
3:28 PM
#108 BORED
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Okay its the 9 march today, Which means........ it means nothing =.=
yeah stuck at home for the entire day with boredom.
I want to go pasar malam later T_T which makes me post up this picture.
Its the Y-U-NO-GUY :D
I dont know much about the creator but this is really smart. I like all them captions ! they're soooo funny ! so i made my own ones too.
HAAHAHAHAHHAHA SO FUNNNY ! this 2 wasn't from me. originally from y-u-no-guy
its only freaking 9 of march. College starts on April which is a long way more to go. And im dying of boredom. Cant wait for Spm results to be release !(what the frick are taking them so long ?!) which brings me to..........
and then...
and also.....
and lastly.......
Finally a decent blog post.
3:59 PM
Click on this link, its updated everyday !!
#107 New !
Click on this link, its updated everyday !!
Labels: Links
1:00 PM
#105 Open day
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Please click link above for more information ya (:
4:13 PM
No wonder why i keep on and off blogging. Cause earlier i had so many things to blog about, but now i have nothing. I hardly blog already. Realize? even if i did, i have nothing else to say. sucks.
#105 Quit?
Monday, March 7, 2011
No wonder why i keep on and off blogging. Cause earlier i had so many things to blog about, but now i have nothing. I hardly blog already. Realize? even if i did, i have nothing else to say. sucks.
Labels: Shits
7:22 PM
Ive changed my email address (: Its Haayeenaashiu@ymail.com now. teehee!
#104 New
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Ive changed my email address (: Its Haayeenaashiu@ymail.com now. teehee!
4:25 PM
#103 Eyes
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I just realize im actually good at drawing some stuffs only but actually im not a good drawer, I only can draw something until i see a picture of it. Which means im not artistic, im not an artist, and i cant be a designer. Thats what im worrying about now. What am i gonna do ? Thinking about all this, suddenly i realize i maybe cant cope with graphic designing. Im so worried now, College starts in a month time and im am still not sure with what course am i gonna take. Ughhh ! Sucks man!
If i cant make my choice, Its designing im gonna take. I just dont want to regret taking that course. blablabla im blabbering i dont know what to update about. TEEHEEEE
************Bonuses :
Naisssss? :D
5:24 PM
Its March now, which means Spm results is coming out really soon! i cant wait (:
#102 March
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I haven decided what course i want to go in college, cant make up my mind but im very sure i'll be studying in PJCAD(College of Art & Design) in April (cant waitt!)
Well i got nothing much to update about, nothing interesting happen. So its gonna be a short post. teehee!
***********Bonuses :
This is how i'll look like with short hair :3
TEEHEEEE! BBUAAAIIII!
5:07 PM
