I know this blog is dead. I only update like once in a while.
So this is my first 2012 post ! So, embrace yourself. The annoying-girl-that-brags-about-her-life brag is coming on!

Okay. updates on 2012. Im 19 now, doing year2 semester 4.

This is not a very good year. Ive been so many ups and downs within this 3 months. Am going through alot with school, friends,family, life, etcetc. So yeah.
My grades are getting worst, i dont know why. Not what im expecting for, was really disappointed in myself for doing this bad. I mean i dont have any D's, only C's and B's, but i was expecting for A's, how can i not get an A at something im so good at ? i really dont understand. So my grades brought me down. Besides worrying over my grades, my social life also went down, Ive lost so many friends, i consider them as my childhood friends. We were really close early of this year, until some bitch came along and had to ruin it all. (why cant these jealous bitches get a life? like seriuosly. brainwashing people ? get a life man) Bitching the brains off people. So everyone turned their backs on me. But whatevs, i lived with it. People at the age of 20+ should be mature enough to not fall for bullshits, guess theyre just immature or haven hit puberty. or something.
hmmm. Family also not doing that any good. Especially my mom. I think shes very mentally unstable. Shes doing all kinds of stupid things on the internet which i clearly disapproved about it. But nothing her children says can put some sense into her; especially not with the fucked up attitude of her whatever-i-say-is-right-and-its-right.
And life ? well as usual, sucks. Ive applied like 20 freelance job, but dint get one. Im starting to lose hopes already. Designing line isnt easy, if someone is better than you, thats it, you are nothing. Am really pissed off, getting sick with this line. But with the advice from Mr.Harry, boost my confidence a lil, hopefully his advice DOES help. Hopefully.

Recently, ive been really down. LIKE REALLY DOWN. I just want to be alone for the moment. Breaking down about everything. Till i can hear depression's calling my name. I want to find someone i could talk to, Like REALLY REALLY can talk to, ive never had a friend that i could really tell what im feeling now or whats going on in my empty mind. Ive always been the listener. Listening to people bragging about themselves. I mean, i dont mind, but just dont ask me question "why does this only happens to me" and all, i dont even know WHAT or HOW to answer, im not god mannn c'mon !. Sick of it. Sick of everything.

Hating what im feeling right now. And the shittiest feeling ever is not having someone to tell what im actually feeling now.

Labels: Life, Shits