No im not the person i used to be today. I realize im different from before. I have 2 personality if nobody realize. 1 i carry it to college everyday, not showing how i really felt and laugh all day long.

Another one is when im alone.

Nobody believes me when i told them my past, they dont expect me being like how i used to be and how i am now. But here you go, yes i may be noisy and irritating at times but the reason behind is because i dont want bad thoughts to flow in my brain. I dont want to be alone eventhough id prefer being alone most of the time.

And when im alone, well i wont tell you how i am.

I also realize, everyone in my family is different now. Eversince my dad fell sick, everyone of us change. I hate how 1 person can affect everyone. My temper starts getting bad, i get really pissed easily and you wont like me when i am. We're not who we are, we're people in pain.

That explains why i dont want to go back home. Why when im out in the morning till night, why i rather stay somewhere all alone the whole day instead of going back home. Like ive said in my previous post, i dont feel a home. Now being home is like being in hell, i feel the pressure and stress building up.

How the fuck am i gonna survive 1 whole month staying home ? I NEED TO DO SOMETHING I DONT WANT TO BE LOCK IN THIS CRAP. i cant take it no more

5:57 PM