#110 Helpless
Saturday, March 12, 2011
So i just got this news from my sister. Instead of my parents. That my dad's cancer cell might come back. Anytime soon. These few days ive seen my dad pressing his backbone and saying that it hurts, I could see the stress/tearful expressions everytime he does that. And then this morning at the dining table, my shoulder was very stiff(maybe cause i slept wrong position) and i said "ahh mou lek jor ah" and then my dad also replied me "I also have no more strength already" and i thought he's saying that cause he's tired. Well, it all make sense now. He went to see the doctor recently and the doctor said that "It might be the cancer cells are back again. Not very sure whether it is or not but it might be. And if it is, we cant help him anymore, theres nothing we can do about it". It broke me down into tears. My dad has been fighting with cancer for 2 years already. Why so soon?
You know thinking about all this, it makes me feel so useless/hopeless now. Theres nothing i could do to help him. Cancer cells can come anytime no matter what. My dad eats the right food, he exercise alot, he dont put stress nor pressure on himself and also through every kimos,not missing one. But still? It might be back? What the fuck man.
I really want to help him. but i dont know how? Life's so unfair ! Fuck life man. I wish i dint existed in this what fucking shit called "Life", so i wont go through all this bullshit. None of my family members know about it except my sis and my mom. Afraid the others cant take the news. (WHY THE HECK MY SIS TELL ME LA DIAO DAH LAH IM THE MOST SENSETIVE IN THE HOUSE BUT I DONT SHOW MY TRUE SELF AT HOME) Knowing all these breaks down all my courage. Makes me burst out into tears. I dont know what to do. I feel so lost.
Be strong dad. Ill be here for you. Ill try my best to fight with you. Please dont give up ):
Labels: Life
8:08 PM
